“Happy” December 8, 2009

 

 

Me with two friends at the dorm formal

 

Something a bit monumental happened today: first semester classes ended. While a few projects with late due dates linger, and exams loom at the beginning of next week, for all practical purposes, I’m half way through my freshman year at Swarthmore. Winter break is almost here!

It’s rather strange to think how quickly the time has passed since August 25th, when my mom and stepfather dropped me off, and even stranger to think of how much has changed since then. The Jacqueline of August 24th was terrified of college life, unsure if she would be able to cope with the work. Now, I have much more confidence in my abilities to do well (though “well” is defined a bit more loosely than in high school). 

On August 24th, I worried that I wouldn’t be able to find people I liked. Today, I have a hard time thinking of classmates that I don’t like. On August 24th, I couldn’t imagine that I would be happy living in a dorm, always surrounded by other people. And while I’ll admit that at times I crave the solitude and quiet I had in my own room, now I really enjoy being able to live so close to my friends– a new experience for someone who always went to Catholic schools forty minutes away from home. On August 24th, my motto was taken from The Hobbit: “Respectable people don’t have adventures!” But today, I’m like Bilbo Baggins of the end of the story, when he’s found his courage and learned to embrace new experiences.

I think the biggest difference between pre-Swat Jacqueline and Swat-Jacqueline is part of the reason the semester seems to have flown by. From ninth grade on, I had constantly running countdowns to the nearest break, summer, and high school graduation. During senior year, I knew the exact number of hours until I would “get out of here.” I was always waiting for something better, some day when I would be in a consistently enjoyable, interesting environment.  And as I headed back to Swarthmore after Thanksgiving weekend, I realized I had no idea how far away Christmas vacation was, let alone graduation day. I’m not counting down to anything anymore, because I’m happy to be at school.

Granted, I love being at home too, and there are still times when I really miss my family and my old life. But I actually like being at school. This sort of general happiness, contentment with the way just about everything is going, is ideal in a way I never pictured my life being. It’s kind of like that old Cat Stevens song that always pops up when I use Pandora Radio: “I’ve been happy lately, thinking about good things to come/ And I believe it could be, something good has begun.”

So yes, I’m eager for this week to pass so I can go home and celebrate the holidays with my parents, stepfather, aunts, and brother, but I’m not rushing toward the end of my career here.

On a completely separate note, I’ve heard that the early decision letters went out, and I want to congratulate the new members of  the Swarthmore “family.” Your hard work has really paid off, and hopefully, you’ll love Swat as much as I obviously do.  

On the other hand, if the news isn’t good, don’t lose heart. As Jim Bock, the dean of admissions, told us on the first day, “The only mistakes the admissions committee makes are the people we reject.”  Even President Obama didn’t get in to Swarthmore!
Don’t let this set back get you down– there’s a place out there for you, and you can still go on to do great things.

So, here’s hoping everyone has a safe, joyful holiday season!

“Hosting” November 16, 2009

 

A view of my dorm

 

Ever since late September, I’ve been hosting prospective students (“specs”), close to once a week. They stay in my room, eat at Sharples with me, go to a few classes, and meet all my delightfully eccentric friends. The overnight visit program is supposed to be for their benefit: it’s supposed to give them a chance to see if they’d like Swat and get a taste of what college is really like, the good and bad. But sometimes I wonder if I’m the one getting the most out of it.

I like meeting them, learning about what interests them, and trying to find one of my friends with similar interests for them to talk to. I like showing off my room and sometimes my professors. I like being able to introduce them to smart, funny Swatties and watching as they realize college is going to be much better than high school. I love narrating my life to a captive audience (just kidding!).

But most of all, I like telling them what makes Swarthmore special. Seeing the school through their eyes– gorgeous, exciting, new, and brimming with intelligent people, ideas, and opportunities– reminds me of why I chose it in the first place.

I knew pretty early in the college application process that I liked Swarthmore a lot and would be happy to go there. But I didn’t realize it was my first choice until much later; there were a few other schools that I thought I might prefer or like equally. So I sent off my applications and waited through the whole anxious, “winter of my discontent ” in senior year. And then, in mid-March, a minor miracle occurred: I got an acceptance letter to Swarthmore. I had received two before, but they didn’t make me feel the way this one did.

I was absolutely euphoric. And for a normally even-keeled person like me, it was pretty notable. What was most surprising about it was that the ecstasy didn’t wear off for over a week, and even then I would find myself smiling for no apparent reason, then remember it was because I could go here. 

I still had three decisions to receive, but my mind was made up. I knew then that Swarthmore was going to be my school.

So now, watching other people making the same decisions about their future helps me reclaim a little of that euphoria. That’s why I love hosting specs so much.